Don't Fall For It: Women With Many Guy Friends

Yes, I know you readers out there have heard of this before.  The old, "I have lots of guy friends" remark that you hear a certain woman make.  So what the hell does all of this mean? Simply put, these women are THE WORST. They are the scum of all scum: high maintenance, competitive and downright egotistical maniacs and like vampires, they will suck your blood dry.

Where and how did I come to such a bold conclusion? History. Not just my personal experiences because that would be very myopic. I have seen this occurrence time and time again among my homies and other friends. But let's just start with my personal experience first and I'm sure some of you fellas out there can relate.

So I recently met a beautiful girl (not a dime but silver dollar at that) who I've become friends with...sorta. The first criticism I remember her making was about how she wasn't like the girls from LA in that she wasn't "high maintenance". Now the funny thing is, I should have known better and saw that as a red flag since 1) Not all women from CA or even LA are high maintenance. In fact, I think LA has some of the coolest most down to earth girls out there in the US and 2) statements like that are usually hypocritically contradictory. Sad thing is, I actually believed her for a second. Maybe she's not high maintenance, I thought to myself. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Goddamn.

When we started hanging out her phone was constantly blowing up. I'm talking text after text, call after call, email after email and naturally so. Remember she's a silver dollar, but it doesn't stop there. When we'd go out to happy hours, she somehow knew 19 out of the 20 guys from the group and was still getting hit on by new ones left and right. All I could do was sit back and watch it unfold until it dawned on me. This girl is a hundred times more high maintenance than the LA girls that she's so critical of. She's so high maintenance that she constantly needs attention, be placed on a pedestal and have her ego jerked-off from the hands of men until she emotionally climaxes.

Don't try to play the Game with her either. If you ignore her, trust me, she has a 100 more guys who are waiting in line to give her attention. In her mind, you're just another guy who "wants me" and she'll incessantly exploit you for the sucker that you are. She'll pretend to be all sweet and girly in front of your face, but behind your back she's talking shit, calling you an asshole, laughing at your sorry attempt in trying to Game 'her and when you finally cave in and call...guess who's bringing her dinner? If it ain't you, its some other douchebag.

Usually women who have tons of guy friends will also invariably claim that they're "not like other women". For some reason, they just can't get along with other women and that women have "never liked me". Bullshit. Don't buy into this one either fellas. You know wanna know why? Every woman with tons of guy friends says the exact same shit. I kid you not. THE EXACT SAME SHIT. So how does that make her so unique from other women now? Oh right... it doesn't!

The women who are actually different are the ones who are good-looking, stay low key and have more female friends than guy friends. They don't need a barrage of men hawking at them or tending their every beck-n-call in order to make them feel worthy, because they haven't become cynical creatures fueled by their own arrogance and selfish-motivations. And as a female being friends with another one requires something that good-looking women have rarely had to do in their lifetime which is to put in the work to build a relationship. It takes a lot of effort to establish a relationship and build trust with a female especially when you've been jocked your entire life. Look what men have to endure just to get a date with a woman. You think women want to deal with the same challenges?

My response to a piece on Race & Attraction

Hey Masir

No idea if you are involved in the PUA community but would like to hear your comments on this article written by PUA "Roosh" on his popular website, this guy written a few books like 'Bang' if you've heard of that one.

Anyways he talks in this article about the 'totem pole of racial attractiveness' in he writes which goes like this for men:

"Let’s start with the ranking for men, from most desirable to least desirable. If you placed a handsome representative from each category in a lineup and let the world’s women pick their favorite, here’s who would get the most votes:

1. European men with darker, sultry features from countries like Spain, Italy, Portugal, and France
2. Northern European men with light features from countries like Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Netherlands, and Norway
3. Western men with medium features from countries like England, United States, Australia, Canada, and Ireland
4. Middle Eastern men with darker but slightly rougher features from countries like Turkey, Greece, Morocco, Iran, and Algeria
5. Latino men from countries like Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, and ones in Central America
6. Arab men from countries like Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Jordan
7. African men
8. Southeast Asian men from countries like Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia
9. Indian men
10. Asian men from countries like Korea, China, Taiwan

and for women

How about if we did the list for women? It’d be similar to the mens list but with a couple changes:

1. Northern European women (+1 movement)
2. European women (-1)
3. Western women (no change)
4. Latina women (+1)
5. Middle Eastern women (-1)
6. Southeast Asian women (+2)
7. Asian women (+3)
8. Arab women (-2)
9. Indian women (no change)
10. African women (-3)

Mentions Asians here:

"why are Asian women viewed more favorably than their male counterparts? It’s because they are seen as submissive and compliant, qualities that make for a good partner. Plus Asian genetic features are more pleasing on the feminine form. And how about African-American women—do they see a boost like with African-American men? I don’t see that. Media portrayals have not been kind to them—they are shown to be combative and promiscuous. There are some exceptions to their perception (Ethiopian women fare rather well in being desired by men), but unless the African girl has a shade like Halle Berry or Tyra Banks, she will have trouble competing with other women higher on the list."

Anyway that was pretty brief compared to the whole article

http://www.rooshv.com/totem-pole-of-race-attractiveness

Am very interested to hear your viewpoint on this

This email landed in my inbox not too long ago. I was hesitant on writing up a piece on it, but I decided to do it just to reiterate that this topic is seriously getting old. In fact, I'm probably doing a disservice to the Asian-American community by revisiting it so I will apologize in advance. The funny thing is, I'm not even annoyed by it as much as I am amazed at how people out there are relentlessly in pursuit of marginalizing entire ethnic groups whether it be Asians, Blacks, Mexicans, etc. 

Let me make one thing clear. Asian-American men are not at a disadvantage in the dating game, period. There was a point in time where I had this twisted view of the world where I believe that they did. Truth is, its all relative. If you think you're at a disadvantage, well guess what? You will reflect that kind of mindset and persona in your demeanor which will make you look very insecure which is an invariable formula for failure. I've undergone an enormous transformation within the last 6 months and looking back at my previous blogs and commentary on other sites its actually quite embarrassing to say the least. 

Just to prove my point, I was in Virginia not too long ago and saw tons of hot AFs with AMs. Let me put that shit in bold...HOT ASIAN WOMEN with ASIAN MEN. Some of the guys these women were with were good-lookin' dudes, but I also saw others who were with women I believed to be out of their league. So what could it be? Well, it could have meant several things. 1) The guy has serious G-A-M-E and a kick-ass personality. 2) The guy has serious money. 3) It was completely serendipitous. Whatever the reason, it didn't really matter because they were with their Asian Queens and other guys were jockin' with jealousy. All in all, it made me proud and it also reinforced the notion that I must continue to take responsibility for my own unhappiness in the dating world (not that I'm saying I'm unhappy because I'm the happiest and most confident I've ever been to be absolutely sincere).

Oh yeah and last time I checked, Korean guys in substantial numbers, are sought after in many parts of the world.  

The Asian-American guy and his threesome in Greece.

Before I tell you this story, let me say that this is not my story by any means. Yes, I enjoy playing the field and flirting with women but I'm not quite as adventurous. Anyway, here it goes.

One of my good Cambodian-Chinese friends just came back from Greece and he had one hell of an experience. He had a threesome with a very beautiful woman and her husband. Whatever happened to the one penis per fantasy rule? Well he has no qualms about sharing a woman with another man, literally. The woman was so beautiful it didn't even matter to him. 

You're also probably wondering how in the hell did he manage to pull that off? I had the same question. Apparently, because there aren't that many Asians in Eastern Europe, Asian men are viewed as being very exotic. I've heard this to be true in South America as well but I'm not 100% sure since I've never been to either of these places. I can only speak on behalf of my friends' experiences. I guess there's only one way I can really find out!

So when her husband approached and asked my friend, we'll call him "Jego", if he wanted to sleep with this beautiful woman who ended up being his wife, he nonchalantly agreed. Personally, I wouldn't have taken such a proposal all that seriously, but according to Jego he felt reassured that he wasn't going to get jacked. *shrugs*

Props to Jego though for pulling that one off because I know for sure as hell I couldn't do something like that unless I was completely inebriated. Wait, he did say he had 8 shots of whiskey...

New Years Resolution: No More Facebook

Traditionally, most New Years Resolutions require painstaking efforts for me to maintain simply because I'm trying to kick a dirty habit or conversely start a good one which I don't feel like doing, but this year is different. This year I've declared a New Years Resolution which I'm confident I'll actually be able to adhere to.

My New Years Resolution is to stop using Facebook.

It's not indefinite since there are some friends I'm connected with who use it as their primary means of communication. If I absolutely must contact them then I'll have no choice but to login, but until that day comes I'm done with Facebook. D-O-N-E. I've wasted countless hours doing nothing on that site probably amounting to several weeks worth if not more. While Facebook can be characterized as a social networking tool, I find it to be more of a menacing time vortex where I'm constantly logging in, checking profiles and commenting on aimless blurbs. The worst part about it is when my so-called "friends" socialize with me in this virtual space like we're best buddies yet are inexplicably unable to meet with me in person for even thirty minutes after not seeing each other for over a year. Wow. Seriously? 

Look, I know everyone has busy schedules and tons of priorities. I have mine too. But what really started irritating me is how Facebook has become a social crutch for a lot of people out there where they no longer want to interact with people the good old-fashioned way in person. No, they'd rather Facebook someone and apparently it's sufficient.

That's not to say social networking is entirely meretricious. Services such as Meetup, LinkedIn and Apple's Ping have some real intrinsic value through their services, but when the NY Times reports Goldman Sachs valuing Facebook at $50 Billion I can't help but to cry out bullshit.

A Look Back On My 2010 Blogs

Looking back at my blog posts throughout 2010, I displayed a plethora of envy and resentment towards many groups of individuals.  Although my arguments aren't completely without merit, when I re-read them now I have to chuckle because all I see is one angry Asian kid who wanted to vent and voice his scathing opinions regarding Asian-American IR dating disparities. Of course, there were other topics I've blogged about in the past as well, but the IR debate consumed my person to the point of sheer contempt and downright bitterness.  Once I purged this sentiment from my mind, I noticed a considerable change within me.

I believe Better Asian Man has stated it best,

What I realized after my transition period is that even if all negative media portrayals of Asian American men were replaced with good ones, and even if all white male romantic leads were replaced with Asian American male romantic leads tomorrow morning, that still wouldn’t produce any tangible result for my romantic life. Even if all of that stuff I was “fighting” against went away, I would STILL have to learn how to get good with women and make myself into a better man. 

This is one of those simple, yet harsh realities that I refused to acknowledge quite frequently. I would make excuses or justify my shortcomings by placing blame on residual factors such as the media or entertainment in hopes that somebody else would pave the way for me so I could just ride their coat tails. That kind of mindset has zero positive impact on my personal development and is an amalgamation of whining (unattractive) and laziness (also unattractive) in its purest form.

Imagine if a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, let alone any company for that matter, operated in a similar fashion. If the CEO went on a diatribe about how the government and his competition have an unfair advantage every quarterly earnings release instead of reaching out for help by hiring the right resources and executing on a well thought out strategy, that person wouldn't be CEO for long and would eventually fall off in the corporate world. The dating world is no different from the corporate and it shouldn't be.

To each and every one of you who have posted on my blog, contender or defender, I wish for all of your forthcoming holidays to be filled with joy, peace and brighter days ahead.

So what is teaching English in Korea REALLY like??

Nowadays, guys going abroad to teach English in Asia are a dime a dozen. In these tough economic times, its actually not that bad of a gig if you consider what these programs have to offer. Go to any job site such as Monster.com or just Google, "Teaching English Abroad" and you'll get tons of hits. Here's an example of one I found online yesterday. The salary and benefits are decent for recent college graduates looking to experience life in Asia and as a teacher there.

• Compensation
• From $1800 ~ $2700 (per month)
• Benefits
• One month Bonus (after 12 months)
• Free airfare
• Furnished housing provided
• 21 Days Paid Vacation
• Partial Medical Insurance Coverage
• Save up to $15,000 per year  <== I have no idea where they came up with this figure.

You only need to be a native English speaker with a 4-year college degree willing to travel and live in Korea. Those are probably going to be the easiest qualifications you will need to fulfill throughout your entire career.

What I always find fascinating about these Asia-Pacific based English programs is how they always cater toward recruiting white people. You may ask me, "Well what's wrong with that?" My answer, "Not all white people are extraordinary English speakers or teachers." Don't get me wrong. I'm sure whites probably do excel in English over non-whites even after dissecting SAT scores. Feel free to disprove me here. I'm curious as to what the breakdown is really like. 

Let me put this in a different perspective though.

Imagine if American software companies went recruiting for programmers in Asia and all of their advertisements had nothing but Indians, since everyone knows that Indians are like the Mexicans of IT. If you're Indian, you're genetically predisposed of being good with science and engineering. Though it may be generally the case, this is where it turns borderline ridiculous. (This isn't a knock against either ethnic group. I have the utmost respect for both of them as they are hard working contributors to society.)

Back in university, one of my best TAs was a white guy who taught English in Japan and lived there for 4 years. Even he was dumbfounded by the absurdity as to how the schools he taught at disfavored native English speaking Asian-Americans from teaching sitting them on the bench majority of the time. Apparently, this preconceived notion of "White English = Right English" was a common theme at many of the schools he taught at. Eventually he gave the staff reasons as to why he believed this sort of thinking was flawed. He argued that: 

1. Asian-Americans raised in America are just as fluent in English as him.
2. Asian-Americans are no less qualified to teach the language.
3. Students someone of their ethnic background or similar speaking the language with such fluency as an inspiration.

Granted, this doesn't mean these English teaching programs will not hire you because you're of Asian descent. Times have changed since then and the world is embracing globalization and ethnic diversity albeit advertising and marketing has not.

Alas, this brings me to the title of the topic at hand. So what is teaching English in an Asian country such as Korea really like?  Ladies and gentleman, watch and learn.

Typical fight between couples over gift giving

I found this on a blog called Asians Not Studying. This short really captures the essence of what men have to deal with when it comes to giving women gifts. Yes ladies, we understand that you are very sentimental beings and enjoy gifts where we put a lot of thought and effort into giving you the perfect gift. Sometimes, it just isn't that easy to convey. Hopefully the next time your significant other buys you a gift you won't be so quick to judge. Enjoy!

Asians Helping Asians

Yeah yeah. I know its been a long time since I've blogged about anything worthwhile or anything period, but the fact is I've been busy working on my career. To be quite frank, I'm not in a position where I'd like to be so I've been searching for a new gig aggressively to put me back on track. Perhaps one of these days I'll divulge a bit more on my trials and tribulations in the workplace, but for now I want to focus on this cool clip I found recently.

Seeing Asian-Americans going over to to help other Asians, such as K-Popstar sensations Tae Yang, SEVEN and 2NE1 with their choreography proves once again that music and the dance is one of the best ways to unify people of all ethnicities. It also illustrates how Asian-Americans are making social progress here. If this doesn't convince you, then I suggest you checkout who's been reigning at the top of the Billboard Charts lately.

New female K-Pop group to debut with Teddy Riley production!!

Source: AllKPop.com

Several months back I wrote a blog on Teddy Riley collaborating with Jay Park to produce some new music. Not sure what has become of that project, however according to AllKpop.com a new and upcoming girl group Raina is set to debut in both Korea and the U.S. under Riley's production. I've said this once before but Teddy Riley is a musical genius, "Yep yep". For those of you who don't know already, Teddy is the godfather of New Jack Swing along with a significant chunk of contemporary R&B. It's sad that not a lot of people know him as being as the key instrument behind so many popular artists: Guy, Bobby Brown, BLACKStreet, Michael Jackson, SWV, Jodeci, Boy George and the list goes on.

I just hope their debut in the U.S. actually gets some rotation on the radio. I'm not holding my breadth though since radio stations are notorious for only playing the most watered down, mainstream shit. Every song on the radio seems to get play 100 times per day. Its annoying how they don't branch out and play something that isn't being pushed my major labels. Oh well, that's a topic I'm not going to discuss now since I can go on and on how bad I think music in America has become.

Tony Hsieh: The Asian-American CEO of the Year

Tony Hsieh may not be the Asian-American man of the year but he is definitely a legitimate candidate. Yahoo! published a story on their website not too long ago which really sparked my interest, because yes he is Asian-American, a male at that and in a high profile position that most Asian-Americans aren't exposed to in their careers. Whenever I read up on financial news or stories on successful business leaders, rarely do I see an AA male in the limelight. So to see Tony sitting in the drivers seat and consistently winning the online shoe business race for a renown company like Zappos, man that shit is inspiring!

Amazon purchased his billion dollar company last year and left him as CEO. He is getting paid a measly $36,000 annually to run the business which he made even prior to the acquisition. His only requirement, that he would get to run the company as a separate organization from Amazon maintaining the corporate culture he and his team nurtured. That culture is based on Happiness. He applies it across the organization, top-down to bottom-up.

If you haven't noticed already Tony has a different philosophy as a business leader than many other corporate executives that I've read or heard about. Most of the them numbers driven. How can we lower operating expenses? How can we drive revenue and increase that top line growth? How can we reduce labor costs?

The fact that he cares about his employees' well-being is a powerful statement in today's world of business. I've noticed more and more these days that the happier employees are at their company, the more likely it is to flourish and succeed regardless of the economic times. Zappos is a prime example of employing this ideology. How many times have you been disenfranchised or detracted from working at your current gig simply because you weren't happy with the way they were treating you? I bet everyone who reads this knows what I'm talking about. Even within the first year of employment, the value of a high salary may diminish very rapidly if you don't like being where you're at. 

For instance, your boss is a slave driver. He is always overworking you and demanding more without commensurate reward or recognition. Any suggestion you or your team provides goes in one ear and out the other. He just focuses on the day-to-day and never looks at the whole picture. Strategy is just a word he utters as opposed to an actionable item. Career development? Ha! Forget it. No time for that in this corporate setting we have work to do!

Then there's communication. It is lacking so much that you don't know when you're getting product and service updates until you're sitting down in front of the customer asking yourself, "When the fuck did they change this?" One of my favorites though would have to be when management establishes some sort of business objective for the year and the boss doesn't translate what it actually means to the team on a working level. How does it affect the working modus operandi? Best of all, there's the annual "Ra-Ra" cheerleading speech and presentation the executives give once a year where instead of talking about how they're going to grow the business, they yap about how they need people within the organization to "step it up". Newsflash guys, but you can't pull out the "step it up" card at every all-hands meeting and expect it to be effective. After a hearing it for the fifth time, it just becomes noise and we know the imaginary bonuses you speak of are nothing but lip service. 

This really makes me think about my current gig. My company could learn a lot from Tony...

Why Asian-American Men Should Feel Empowered

While I was down in Irvine last weekend my friend was explaining to me how I asked one of my friends how he felt about interracial couples. Here's how the conversation kind of went.

Friend:  This city is becoming predominantly Asian. Even when you go to the supermarkets here you'll find a bunch of interracial couples standing in line. 

MaSir:  I'm not surprised. Do you see a lot of Asian guy/white girl couples? 

Friend:  Naw dude. Its never like that.

MaSir:  Does it bother you?

Friend:  Nah, its cool. I don't got a problem with it. I mean getting all jealous over it is a sign of weakness.

MaSir:  Makes sense.

That's all it took for me to realize how lame I was being. Whenever there are discussions on message boards or blogs about the IR disparity, its always about how Asian men are getting shafted and how the women are traitors. Yes yes, I've been guilty of that plenty of times before. Looking back at it now it has recently come to my attention that those feelings of envy I had displayed were signs of weakness and lack of true confidence. But why?

Let me put it this way. Have you ever seen a movie where there are two guys fighting to come out as the winner of the game? Sure you have! The prize could revolve around women, treasure or some position of power. Now what did you think of the guy who was jealous of the protagonist who was outsmarting and out-gaming him? Well if you're like me, you probably saw him as a bitter, rotten, poor-sport not to mention it being very unattractive. Most of all, this guy looks weak. Instead of investing the time to improve his game, he's off whining about some setback or unfair circumstance he's had to endure and although he may have some merit, his complaints are so loud that it drowns out anything remotely positive in his personality. The guy with true confidence and perseverance embraces defeat by training harder and longer to subdue any mental obstacles which he encounters along the way. Think of Rocky.

So why should Asian-American men feel empowered instead of feeling jealous during these present times? Before I share with you my reasons I'd like to hear yours first.

Debunking the Asian American Male Stereotype

This past Labor Day weekend was awesome.

After being absent from the nightlife scene for the last couple of months, I decided that it was time for a little break from the Bay Area and go hang out with some friends down in Southern California. I called up one of my buddies from college to see what he was up to Friday evening. Surprisingly he was available during the holiday weekend and didn't have any plans to go anywhere. Perfect. My next destination; clubbing in LA.

We roll up to the spot four deep and the place is packed with Asians. The first thing I noticed is that there were a ton of beautiful Asian women (yes, my favorite) as well as some sharp lookin' Asian dudes. I was quite pleased to see this because instead of looking all ghetto or thugged out, they looked pretty alpha and stylish. Now some of you might be thinking, "Why the hell were you checking out the guys MaSir? Are you gay?"

Clubbing in LA. Good times!

First off, I'm a straight Asian dude who loves women way too much to ever be homolicious (No offense to my female readers our there. I'm trying to make a point). Think of it this way. When I see an Asian-American male holding it down on television you want to give him his props because he's representing something that goes against the stereotypical norm of the goofy, nerdy or fobby Asian male. The media does not sufficiently capture or display this Alpha Asian-American Male (3AM) demographic to the American public so naturally I was elated to see my fellow Asian brothas looking 3AM.

There was something else I noticed that night which kind of ties back to what many of the AA female pundits have been crying out about all along. Regardless of a person's skin color, girls will be girls and boys will be boys. What I mean is as much as I've been harping on the significance of ethnicity in the past, its really trivial in the grand scheme of things because Game will supersede this phenomenon the majority of the time. I think many AMs out there, including myself, have assumed that AFs should pledge allegiance to us because we share the same cultural or ethnic backgrounds. This becomes a moot point once they're out there on the market.

One of my close AM buddies is simultaneously seeing two attractive white girls and a hot Asian girl. I used to argue with him on a regular basis how Asian men have it so bad in the American media and entertainment. His response has always been the same.

"I wish my Asian brothers would spend less time complaining about that stuff and more time improving their Game. The majority of America is still white so naturally they will want to cater toward a white audience, because that's where the money is. Even if Hollywood does portray Asian men in a positive manner, how is that going to change how successful Asian men are with women? Would it be beneficial for us? Absolutely. But if Asian guys want to just ride coattails off of that image, then they're just being lazy and not taking any responsibility for their own failures."

I will grudgingly admit he is absolutely right.

Randall Park, one of my favorite AM comedians, recently wrote a piece on how he used to attribute Gedde Watanabe (aka Long Duck Dong) for much of his dating woes during his adolescent years. Just like my friend, Randall has come to embrace a similar philosophy as my friend stated above.

If only I had this understanding earlier. Maybe I wouldn’t have blamed Gedde for my misfortunes with the ladies. Maybe I would’ve blamed more relevant things like my bad hygiene or my bad personality or my insistence that Sally Lawrence could be “turned around.”

Yes Randall, there are those Sallys of the world that you just can't turn around and I hope your article (along with mine) helps other AMs realize that they should cut their losses, build some character and improve their personal hygiene, since having the cush job only goes so far to make you 3AM.

Positive Reinforcement

Over the past several days I've been contemplating about my attitude towards the notion of being an Asian-American male. When I originally established my blog I had the intention of having it be a positive experience for my readers until recently where I've seemed to trail off into a negative oblivion. Just a few weeks ago I started bombing BigWoWo's blog with all kinds of negativity and criticisms toward Asian-American women, yes my very own sistas [sic]. What was originally intended to be a recourse for my fellow AA brothers to defend their ground AA women who reject us, turned into an online slug fest. I let a heated debate get to the best and worst of my emotions,

I rest my case. No permutations of “doing both” makes sense anymore. The numbers are statistically significant enough that warrant an undeniable trend. It does not happen by coincidence but subliminally driven motives influenced by external white-hegemonic factors which Asian women have succumb to. If you disagree, then as stated earlier, why aren’t there more Asian Female/Black Male couples? Why not Asian Female/Latino Male pairings?

There is no legitimate response because its the goddamn truth. You argue that “Asian women have more in common with white men on a socioeconomic level.” Well last time I checked, Asian men are the most financially well off so that throws this argument out the window.

Don’t you realize how absurd these “activists” sound and even the ones who defend them? Oh yes, its just so happens that all of my employees are white. I’m fighting against discrimination in corporate America, BUT that has nothing to do with the fact that every single one of my employees are white and I only hire white candidates.

Yes, this is how all of the so-called activists sound to us.

While reading through some of the harsh yet appropriate responses I realized I was being very self-centered. Albeit, there are other Asian-American men who can understand and empathize with me when it comes to the undeniable imbalance of AF/WM couples in North America. After apologizing to the offended parties I decided to disengage from the blog altogether, because the so-called "dialogue" was becoming an infinite loop of finger pointing, resentment, envy and eventual anger to which I was actively contributing to.

Human beings are funny creatures. We're very negative in our ways of thinking. Just look at the news for instance. There's a saying that no news is good news. Well whenever I read the news its always filled with negative headlines about how terrible the economy is or how so-and-so is getting a divorce. And predictably there I am consuming all of that crap every day. No wonder why I'm so jaded!

Now in order to change my tone and outlook on life to become a much more positive person, I thought I'd start off with my blog and I feel the title Destroy & Rebuild implies that I'm heading in the right direction. Granted its going to take an earnest effort on my part to accomplish this, but I want to outweigh the negative with positive reinforcement. I will try to focus on the positive achievements within the intercontinental Asian community, and in the process, highlight notable individuals around the world making a difference.

With that I already have my next topic in mind.

"And you wonder why Asian women don't go for Asian men"

"And you wonder why Asian women don't go for Asian men". That was the subject header of the email that I received from one of my closest friends and yes, he happens to be Asian as well. "Great." I thought to myself, "Another article making a mockery of Asian men." Well not exactly, since the authors do a good job of reporting on strictly the facts. The story does however, give Americans ammunition for teasing Asian men.

CNET published an article on how Japanese men are treating virtual girlfriends to beach vacations and more. Apparently, Konami's Love Plus Plus dating sim has enthralled a number of Japanese men to the point where they spend the money on these virtual girlfriends. The players even take these virtual gals to the Atami hot spring and resort to spend some quality time with them. Some even take pictures with them.

At first glance I laughed and felt pretty embarrassed, but after giving it some additional considerations I didn't find it to be that embarrassing after all. Some of you might be vehemently against it cringing at the sight of another stereotype in the making. However, there could be some good that comes out of this. There's a stereotype out there that Asian, especially Japanese men, aren't all that affectionate towards their girlfriends, or that Asian men are workaholics and study bugs which impedes the way of spending quality time with women. Whatever it is, a 21-year-old man was quoted with saying how this could serve as a good practice for when he gets a real girlfriend. He has a valid point.

Simulation is an excellent way to learn. For example, let's take a look at pilots and soldiers. They spend countless hours behind sophisticated simulators before being unleashed into the real world performing the same acts. It offers them a fantastic means of practicing and sharpening their skills. If the artificial intelligence behind these programs is advanced enough, it could certainly serve as an aid for men who are clueless with women.

The guy who pokes fun at these men is like husband who comes home and makes fun of his wife after he see's her watching cooking. "Why do you keep watching those cooking shows and pretending? You still don't know how to cook." She responds, "Why do you keep watching porn and pretending? You still don't know how to fuck!"

Update on Federal investigation of violence against Asians at Philly High

"School administrators insist that they took all allegations seriously and disciplined students when appropriate."

I'm sure Philly School District administrators took the allegations seriously. They just didn't do a goddamn thing about it. Installing security cameras and adding a few more security guards isn't enough to mitigate this kind of racially-motivated violence that Asian immigrant students have endured for the past several years.

The Philadelphia Inquirer is keeping us abreast of the recent developments in the perennial Philly High School beatings against Asian students. It states the Justice Department finds merit in the claims made by the Asian students and has advised school officials to take some action. Personally, I'm a bit disappointed with the response from the Feds because "advisory" is too open ended and quite vague of a response. However, I still have faith they will follow through with eventual mandates that are much more specific and resolute to eradicate violence, race or non-race related once and for all. Superintendent Arlene Ackerman did a fantastic job in handling these hate crimes didn't she?

Can somebody please present to her the "I don't give a fuck" of the year award and pay her another fat bonus?

This would have been the perfect opportunity for Ackerman to shine as a community leader by harshly reprimanding the students who brought such a ruckus onto school grounds and ultimately take some corrective action by establishing policies to substantially reduce juvenile violence. School is where young aspiring minds want to learn and socialize with their peers peacefully. Maybe I'm just old school (no pun intended) but I thought school, by convention, is safe haven for students. Of course, when you don't have the proper leadership in place you can throw all of that out the window. Leaders these days who actually take some responsibility and blame for their mistakes are few and far between. Regardless of the person's ethnicity, I guess people are people and sinners at that; myself included.

Nevertheless, its good press and the Philly High incidents have gained national attention. If the Justice Department decides to take some coercive measures against the inaction of the Philly School District, they could even go so far as to sue them to force change. Whatever the settlement is, it will require the school district to improve the treatment of Asian students. The light is at the end of the tunnel.

As Q-Tip once said, "Keep it movin. I ain't got no time for shuckin and jivin."

On To Something Positive: K-Pop Hitting USA

Out of all of the periodicals out there, I think Time magazine has always been a little more international and cutting edge when it comes to politics and pop culture. This week the magazine boasts an article about Korean Pop music going global with the help of the internet.

Taeyang's Solar album debut hits No. 2 on iTunes R&B charts

It amazes me how times have changed since I was a teenager listening groups like Seotaiji and Deux. After entering high school and college subsequently thereafter, I took a break from listening to K-Pop altogether since there were new artists coming out every week. Keeping up with the trends was just too much for me. The only viable medium to stay in tune with the latest and greatest K-Pop heads was to ask family relatives in Korea, friends who were avid K-Pop listeners or KBS broadcasting on Channel 18. Still too much work.

I should also mention this was a point in my life where I disassociated myself from many things Asian, more specifically Korean: Korean Pride (KP), Korean music, Korean girls, etc. Yes, I'll admit that I wanted to be more "American", which in my mind meant abandoning a lot of my contemporary Korean pop culture interests. In fact, I was so far removed from Korean pop culture that when I got to college my Chinese roommates were the ones asking me about Korean music! Huh?? Who's H-O-T? FinkL? Boa? Sorry, I don't know any of them.

Then something changed about four years into my career. I took a trip back to my parent's motherland and fell in love with my roots once again, and K-Pop came along with it. Only this time, with the help of the internet, there were many people around the world who were following K-Pop artists as well. I first noticed this on YouTube watching K-Pop music videos and seeing comments from users who are from all over the world. Now that I'm back in the states, I still keep up with the K-Pop scene. If you haven't listen to a K-Pop song in your entire life you should give it a shot. The songs are catchy, dance-able and just plain fun. Here is an example:

All of these artists are extremely hard working and talented. Renown American producers are even taking notice of the talent pool and marketability of these idol groups. For instance, Will.I.Am. from the Black Eyed Peas saw one of 2NE1's music videos and immediately wanted to work with them. Back in April of this year, New Jack Swing founder and R&B powerhouse producer Teddy Riley began collaborating with Jay Park (Jaebeom) on an album. Now whether or not it actually gets released is a different story, but the act of Jay working with a musical genius such as Riley himself sends a powerful statement to the music industry - Asians have talent also, not just in math and science. And if that isn't enough to convince you of K-Pop's growing popularity and influence worldwide, then consider Taeyang's Solar album which hit No. 2 on iTunes R&B sales charts in the U.S. and No. 1 in Canada which is a first but hopefully not the only for an Asian artist!

Asian-American men get shafted even in literature

I've been participating in a heated debate over the performative contradictions in Asian-American female activism on BigWoWo. One of the commenters went on a search to find literature where the protagonist and love interest of the story is an Asian-American male. His findings are appalling, yet not all that surprising to say the least. Here, take a look!

From the Meet Asian American Authors book list from Amazon

The Piano Teacher: A Novel by Janice Y. K. Lee
Based in: WWII Hong Kong
Male protagonist: British White Male
Love interest: White female/Euroasian female

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel by Lisa See
Based in: Olden days China
Male protagonist: None (Though there are abusive Chinese Husbands)
Female protagonist: Chinese females
Soon to be made to a film directed by Wayne Wang (Joy Luck Club 2)

Pearl of China: A Novel by Anchee Min
Based in: Cultural Revolution China
Two female protagonists
Antagonists are Chinese males

Chinese Cinderella: The True Story of an Unwanted Daughter by Adeline Yen Mah
No male protagonist/love interests?
Mainly about a rough childhood.

,b>Dragon Bones: A Red Princess Mystery (Red Princess Mysteries) by Lisa See
Based in: Modern China
Male Protagonist/love interest: White American Male
Female Protagonist: Chinese Female

Petals From The Sky by Mingmei Ye
Based in: China/US
Male Protagonist/love interest: White American Male
Female Protagonist: Chinese Female

Good Things by Mia King
Male Protagonist/love interest: White American Male
Female Protagonist: White American Female

Only Uni (The Sushi Series, Book 2) by Camy Tang
Based in: US
Male Protagonist/love interest: White American Male?
Antagonist: Creepy Asian American Male (but attractive?)
Female Protagonist: Asian American Female

My Year of Meats by Ruth L. Ozeki
Based in: Japan/US
Male Protagonist/love interest: Older White American Male
Antagonist: Japanese Male
Female Protagonist: Asian American Female, Asian Female

The Bonesetter’s Daughter by Amy Tan
Amy Tan: No need for explanation here.

Sweet Life by Mia King
Male Protagonist/love interest: White American Male
Female Protagonist: White American Female

The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
Amy Tan Classic - The quintessential example of how to throw all Asian-American men under the bus.

Kira-Kira (Newbery Medal Book) by Cynthia Kadohata
Based in: US
Children’s book, sounds quite beautiful though. No Asian guy bashing!!!! (I think)

Wild Ginger: A Novel by Anchee Min
Based in: Cultural Revolution China
Male Protagonist/love interest: Chinese Male who turns Antagonist
Female Protagonist: Euroasian Female

The Last Empress: A Novel by Anchee Min
Based in: Ancient China
Male Protagonist/love interest:: None, but a lot of pathetic Chinese Males
Female Protagonist: Chinese Female (To be fair, Tzu Hsi is probably judged a lot harder by Ancient Chinese historians because she was a woman ruler, the men during those times have probably done a lot worse).

Unaccustomed Earth: Stories (Vintage Contemporaries) by Jhumpa Lahiri
Short stories that deals with a range of issues.
NO white saviors from what I have read.

The Space Between Us: A Novel ( Deckle Edge ) (P.S.) by Thrity Umrigar
Based in India. Indian female/Indian male?

The Namesake (movie tie-in edition) by Jhumpa Lahiri
Male protagonist: Indian American male

One Amazing Thing by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
Various characters, but no Asian Male?

Itsuka by Joy Kogawa
Fight for compensation for Japanese-Canadian internments.

Telltale signs of China's rising global influence

Some of you may disagree with me and that's okay, but I think this movie that I found on Angry Asian Man is a harbinger of China's (along with the rest of Asia's) global ascendancy. It looks riveting. And yes, there is an attractive white American female who plays the love interest of the Chinese dude. It's impact could be groundbreaking for the advancement of Asian-Americans in Hollywood.

Dating a Korean/Asian Guy

Before I share this with you, do not take this video too seriously. Yes, not all Asian guys are like this but I thought it was hilarious. Enjoy. And yes, I totally act that "gangsta". LOL

A Flight Attendant Having the JetBlues: A Look Into American vs Asian Airlines

There's been a lull with my blogging recently ever since I started this new gig. I'm surprised I was even able to keep up with it for so long, though it helps when you have people visiting your blog to comment and question about your pieces.

So what compelled me to write today was all this hoopla in the news over the JetBlue flight attendant, Steven Slater, who went into a turbulent rage and made a grand exit off the plane after a rowdy passenger became verbally and physically belligerent with him. The whole fiasco begged the question, "Would this have happened on an Asian Airline?"

The reason why I am inquiring about this is simple. Whatever happened on JetBlue, and probably almost every other major airline in America, isn't a unique case. This may in fact be a reflection of what is wrong with American society today as a whole. Let me explain.

Once upon a time, flying was considered a luxury. The flight attendants were mostly young women looking very sexy or at least very feminine. Remember this was prior to 9/11 so security wasn't really an issue. And though you were allowed to smoke, the flights weren't as technologically safe and you couldn't watch movies on your own personal TV, flying in 1950s and 60s seemed much more enjoyable. Then again, I also can't imagine the people on the flight being nearly as rude back then as they are today. 

Contrastingly, when I look to Asian based airlines such as Korean, Asiana, Singapore or Japan Airlines, I feel like the customer service and quality of the flight attendants haven't strayed much from the traditional way Americans used to fly. Here are a couple of examples of the Korean and Singapore Airline flight attendants.

Now compare this what you see typically on US based airlines. Originally, I was going to post pictures up but those of you who've flown any major US airline surely know where I'm going with this. The point I'm trying to make is that American based airlines have lost their way and the tradition of flying with class. Just as a significant number of Americans has lost their way in treating others with respect while becoming more self-entitled to everything under the Sun and moon. Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine an Asian passenger dropping an F-Bomb-equivalent to a flight attendant. Its just unheard of and unfathomable. 

I believe what many of us have witnessed here with this JetBlue incident is the unintended consequences of how Americans are given too much freedom and self-entitlement where even the slightest form of discomfort turns us hyper-politically correct and super bitchy (e.g. mandating school uniforms, cellphones in prisons, outlandish ridiculous lawsuits, etc). This is a manifestation of a much broader and significant societal problem at hand in America. The truth hurts.