Friend: This city is becoming predominantly Asian. Even when you go to the supermarkets here you'll find a bunch of interracial couples standing in line.
MaSir: I'm not surprised. Do you see a lot of Asian guy/white girl couples?
Friend: Naw dude. Its never like that.
MaSir: Does it bother you?
Friend: Nah, its cool. I don't got a problem with it. I mean getting all jealous over it is a sign of weakness.
MaSir: Makes sense.
That's all it took for me to realize how lame I was being. Whenever there are discussions on message boards or blogs about the IR disparity, its always about how Asian men are getting shafted and how the women are traitors. Yes yes, I've been guilty of that plenty of times before. Looking back at it now it has recently come to my attention that those feelings of envy I had displayed were signs of weakness and lack of true confidence. But why?
Let me put it this way. Have you ever seen a movie where there are two guys fighting to come out as the winner of the game? Sure you have! The prize could revolve around women, treasure or some position of power. Now what did you think of the guy who was jealous of the protagonist who was outsmarting and out-gaming him? Well if you're like me, you probably saw him as a bitter, rotten, poor-sport not to mention it being very unattractive. Most of all, this guy looks weak. Instead of investing the time to improve his game, he's off whining about some setback or unfair circumstance he's had to endure and although he may have some merit, his complaints are so loud that it drowns out anything remotely positive in his personality. The guy with true confidence and perseverance embraces defeat by training harder and longer to subdue any mental obstacles which he encounters along the way. Think of Rocky.
So why should Asian-American men feel empowered instead of feeling jealous during these present times? Before I share with you my reasons I'd like to hear yours first.
Here's one for you.
ReplyDeleteThe majority of Asian-American men will hold more positions of economical, political and consequently social power as they continue to outperform in the academic setting. It is easy attribute career success with an academic one. See the article below.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703466704575489573310055484.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_MIDDLETopStories#articleTabs%3Darticle
Asian-American guys are next in line for wealth attainment. 8Asians posted an article on this not too long ago.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.8asians.com/2010/08/01/asian-men-have-the-highest-salary/
Money => Power => Bitches!
You don't think social disparity should be noted. I don't think turning a blind eye will make thing better. It is a sign of self denial to think the disparity is somehow ok.
ReplyDeleteFuck the PC crap about weakness.
I want to add there is a difference between whining and seeing this disparity as a problem. Whining doesn't change anything, but being discomforted by this could be a motivating factor in change.
ReplyDeleteHow would feel if Asian soon-to-be your wife fucked many more white guys before she married you, an Asian guy, who only date inside your race? That's is a skewed relationship.
it is a problem because it carries on and affect Asian men personally, even after the guy get hitched. To me, it isn't a weakness to feel there is something wrong with this picture.
I think Asian guy want to save face by pretending he doesn't feel anything when he is talking to another person. Sure you walk around pretending it doesn't affect you, but deep down you know it does. The more people pretend this isn't a problem, the worst it will be come, until it is irreversible - and the whole community died - Asians keep being perpetual foreigner since anyone with a proficiency in English rather fucked their way out of their "Asianess"
@ Anonymous 3:
ReplyDeleteI think you misunderstood the point of my post. Turning a blind eye to the situation would mean AM do absolutely nothing to improve their social and dating lives. I am advocating that we focus on self-improvement before we lash out on anyone. That means, Game harder and Game smarter. It is what Asians are good at.
Let me give you a real world example. While growing up, Blacks were always considered as the best dancers. Then Latinos. Asians and whites weren't even considered as a formidable contender in dancing period. Look how much things have changed within the last decade? My understanding is that Asian crews dominate America's Best Dance Crews.
Did that happen because Asians turned a blind eye to dancing? No.
Did that happen because Asians complained how there was a disparity? Absolutely not.
What did happen however, was a wave of Asians all around the world, especially in Korea, Japan and the US, began to dance and practice rigorously to the point of perfection and now we're starting to see the fruition of those efforts.
That isn't weakness. It's competitiveness, and that is what it takes to win.
@ Anonymous 1 & 2:
Good point. I'll have to expand on these topics later.
I mean getting all jealous over it is a sign of weakness.
ReplyDeleteYour friend is a wise individual.
i saw an IR recently, white male and asian. at first i saw the kid. then i saw the dad, and then i had the usual thought, but then i realised that the dad was the one getting nervous and not me. actually i dont harbor resentment towards him. if anything im curious ( but not necessary) jealous when i see asian male and white girl as i wonder who has the fetish or both or none. me? im with a white girl. its a bit fetishbased on my end. but shes a great person and supporter. fetishes dont last that long in my experience
ReplyDelete