Sunday, December 25, 2011

A Few Reasons Why Men Prefer Asian Women. Part I

The question often arises, "Why do men prefer dating Asian women?"

Whether it's asked out of sheer envy or morbid curiosity, men of all races have their laundry list of reasons. Well today I'm breaking it down for you. In fact, this is a subject area that a friend of mine and I have both explored, experienced and now firmly agree upon. It is what sets Asian women apart from females of other nationalities. Notice how I said "Asian women" as opposed to "Asian-American women". The difference may seem subtle but the "American" aspect has a significant influence on a woman's demeanor. Some positive, some negative. I am here to discuss the latter that can be attributed to American Feminism as the culprit for stripping away the cuteness and femininity that many men find so attractive in Asian women.

So let's start with cuteness first (I'll cover the other reasons in parts two and three of the series). I'm referring to what Koreans call aegyo -- a contemporary expression to describe cute and playful behavior derived from the word aegi meaning "baby" in Korean.

Here's an example of aegyo courtesy of the K-Pop group Kara.

[Update] Some of you may not know Korean. So here's a quick summary of the clip. Han Seung-Yeon from Kara who is wearing the red hat is very good with aegyo in public. Other members of the group struggle with this and attempt to show aegyo on the show. Notice the audience's reaction.

How is this NOT adorable? If you're female, seeing this might make you sick to your stomach. But remember this isn't about you. It's about why MEN like it.  And if you want to compete, then you should learn to play the part.
NOTE: Do not get this confused with being submissive. Submissiveness is about being meekly obedient or passive and is probably the number one stereotype used to describe Asian women and why they're so much better than the competition. It's also the number one gripe Asian-American women make next to being viewed as exotic. Being cutesy is not equivalent to submissiveness.
For those of you who are still having trouble with comprehending the concept of aegyo think of it this way. It's same type of behavior and tonality you might use when you want to be pampered, and if done properly in moderation it is absolutely adorable and ATTRACTIVE.

Take a look at most of the American female celebrities today and they all possess this tough, independent veneer that can be pretty fucking obnoxious. You know...the Angelina Jolie, Avril Levine and Rihanna types. Besides being a total sexpot, could you imagine Angelina Jolie being cutesy? How about Avril Levine, the skater boy who said see you later boy? What about Rihanna, who is becoming more and more androgynous by the album? I swear if these women acted any tougher they'd be borderline shemales!

Why so serious? Seriously not attractive.

Don't get me wrong either. The 1960's feminist movement did some wonderful things for the advancement of gender equality. I think it's great if you're a successful woman earning your own money on par with a man's salary, owning your own home, buying your own shit and all that jazz, but going around touting that you're some "independent woman" is seriously lame. Men will recognize your independent persona without you having to make a public announcement about it. You don't need to go around telling the world that you are, just like I don't need to go around telling everyone that I'm confident. And if you really like being completely independent then pay the other half of the goddamn bill and stop bitching about how chivalry is dead. The worst would be to sing a song that relishes in your independence when your previous one was about, "Bills, Bills, Bills". Now that is Child-like and is far from adorable.

It's not like American women never had this touch of cuteness before. Remember Marilyn Monroe? My God she was the embodiment of this which is what made her so dashing physical appearance aside.

Sad to say that many women I meet these days seem to lack this trait which I find much more ubiquitous among Asian women, hence my attraction to them. Perhaps it's because the female dissenters think cuteness is fake and a sign of weakness. Well I can easily say it's about as fake as getting fake tits, but we all know women in the U.S. don't do that!


  1. you should look up studies on how the "feminine ideal" changes with the economy.

  2. Do you have any specific links or references?

  3. here's the actual article, but you can probably find summaries on other websites:

  4. Interesting article. Seems like men are hard wired under the hood to look for mature women or those who possess characteristics of self-service during tough times. It makes sense the younger a female looks, the less likely she is to be self-sufficient and financially established. Who would've thought that it is practically embedded in our DNA from even an evolutionary standpoint.

  5. I personally find the overly cute sugarcoated with-cherry-on-top-aegyo-attitude pretty unsettling.
    Don't get me wrong, I DO think it's cute, but I get goosebumps all over.
    I like the "cute" which I would describe as shy, or better, elegant aegyo.
    Like a decent "cuteness", a hint of aegyo with a sparkle in the eye.
    I hope I described it well enough.

  6. Why non-Asian men like Asian women in a word: Neoteny

    According to Ashley Montagu who taught anthropology at Princeton University, "The Mongoloid skull has proceeded further than in any other people."[54] "The Mongoloid skull, whether Chinese or Japanese, has been rather more neotenized than the Caucasoid or European."[54] "The female skull, it will be noted, is more pedomorphic in all human populations than the male skull.

    According to Clive Bromhall who has a Ph.D. in zoology from Oxford University, "Mongoloid races are explained in terms of being the most extreme pedomorphic humans."[55]

  7. Importance of Neoteny in attractiveness

    Attractiveness research has attempted to determine which facial aspects communicate attractiveness. Facial symmetry has been shown to be considered attractive in women,[69][70] and men have been found to prefer full lips,[71] small chinned faces, small nose and jaw, defined cheekbones,[72] clear smooth skin, and large, clear eyes.[64] The shape of the face in terms of "how everything hangs together" is an important determinant of beauty.[73] A University of Toronto study found correlations between facial measurements and attractiveness; researchers varied the distance between eyes, and between eyes and mouth, in different drawings of the same female face, and had the drawings evaluated; they found there were ideal proportions perceived as attractive (see photo).[68] These proportions (46% and 36%) were close to the average of all female profiles.[68] Women with thick, dark limbal rings in their eyes have also been found to be more attractive. The explanation given is that because the ring tends to fade with age and medical problems, a prominent limbal ring gives an honest indicator of youth.[74]
    In another cross-cultural study, more neotenized (i.e., youthful looking) female faces were found to be most attractive to men while less neotenized female faces were found to be less attractive to men, regardless of the females' actual age.[75] One of these desired traits was a small jaw.[76]

    In a study of Italian women who have won beauty competitions, it was found that their faces had more "babyness" traits than those of the "normal" women used as a reference.[77]

    It is the extreme Neoteny of Asian womens features that makes them physically desirable to non-Asian men. This same Neoteny is also the reason few non-Asian women are physically attracted to Asian men. As women are attracted to signs of testosterone in men such as prominent and broad cheekbones,[19] a relatively longer lower face, developed brows, and chiseled jawlines. With Asian males on average tending to have more rounded faces and softer jawlines. The cheekbones being more wide on the face than chiseled.

  8. "It is the extreme Neoteny of Asian womens features that makes them physically desirable to non-Asian men. This same Neoteny is also the reason few non-Asian women are physically attracted to Asian men. As women are attracted to signs of testosterone in men such as prominent and broad cheekbones,[19] a relatively longer lower face, developed brows, and chiseled jawlines. With Asian males on average tending to have more rounded faces and softer jawlines. The cheekbones being more wide on the face than chiseled."

    That's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever read. Maybe in America, but not the rest of the non-Asian world.

  9. "That's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever read. Maybe in America, but not the rest of the non-Asian world."

    Name some non-Asian countries it does not apply to and feel free to back up your assertions.
    People used to name France and Russia as apparent havens for AM however when you actually go there its the same old WM/AF everywhere you look.

    I would honestly love to countries (not 3rd world) know where non-Asian women are into Asian guys to plan my next holiday.

  10. ^ try denmark and sweden

  11. From that comment I can say with certainty you have never been to those countries. Having lived in Sweden and visited Denmark 3 times I would say those are the 2 of the WORST countries in Europe for AM to visit. Denmark would be the worst country for picking up even for not just for AM. 100x harder than the U.S

    Even on this PUA blog where the guy is not AM agrees it is terrible.

    Try going to these places and living there for a bit. Europe in my experience is worse than U.S its mainly an AM fantasy. Certain areas in U.S are not that bad I found San Francisco to be the best of the bunch.

  12. Errr, not all men are the same. Not all men like "cute" women.

    My husband would say (and I know he would say it because he has said it, and also because he chose to marry me) that it's kind of a turn-off, and really, what's the point of it? That I generally don't go around proclaiming that I am "strong and independent" - but that yes, I have a slightly tough, probably slightly difficult, definitely slightly bitchy personality, and it's not that he's just sort of accepted that. He chose me. He likes ME. Anyway. you'll find that, as much as you'd like to believe most women go around proclaiming their "independence", not many actually do. The ones who do are a bit insecure, IMHO.

    The whole Asian cutesy thing does nothing for him. He's a man. Maybe he's in the minority - frankly, I don't care if he is, but I hope he's not - but this represents the stone cold fact that not all men are the same and like the same things.

    And, you know, you say women had better start acting like this if they, ahem, "want to compete" - err, why would I want to be something I am not (I am just not naturally cutesy) to attract a man I probably don't want (because if he goes for 'cute' then his personality is probably not compatible with mine) who probably wouldn't like the real me, and then have to go on pretending to be someone I'm not to keep him? That's my idea of hell, frankly. I'm married, but if that was the alternative, I'd rather be single.

    Before I get the usual "meh meh meh if your man could have an Asian woman he would" pushback, well, first, that's more disrespectful to him than it is to me - what, he doesn't know what he wants? - and second, we got together in Asia. Taiwan, to be exact. We married in Asia. He's spent years surrounded by Asian women and he chose the American woman.

    So I say phooey on your theory.

    1. Your question of "what's the point of it?" is self-defeating. If you're referring "it" to possessing aegyo. Here's why.

      It's attractive. Very simple.

      How about I ask the very same question but in the context of a woman?

      "What is the point of men having to be rich? I mean, c'mon. Women make their own money these days. They don't need a man with a job when surely women are able to provide for themselves with any assistance."

      Or better yet, "What's the point of men having to be tall? You can always carry a gun to feel if you want to feel secure and protected."

      Perhaps your husband did marry you for your tough, bitchy attitude. That's fantastic that you two are a match made in heaven, but most men don't want that kind of emotionally draining personality trait in the long run. Even if you're drop-dead gorgeous or know how to fuck properly, that shit will get really old, really fast.

      But hey, you found yourself a man and beat the competition. More power to you.

      And yes, there are a ton of "Sex in the City" female types that go around claiming their independence. Let's start with Beyonce, then Kelly Clarkson, Rihanna...

    2. I bet she's cute, when she gulps down her twelfth tripple-whopper.

  13. Jenna there are always going to be some exceptions to the rule but that does not invalidate it. There are so many variables we don't know here... your husband could have had a bad experience with an Asian woman... you could have frightened him into submission and assume its that he likes your aggressiveness or perhaps he doesn't feel confident enough to tell you his real desires.

    Your attitude is typical of an American woman. You are right and everyone else must be wrong.

    Am I right to assume you are the one in the front in this picture? Your husband looks like you bullied him in this pictures.

  14. Well, seeing as my husband and I were best friends for 8 years before we started dating, I'd say that I know him pretty well - better than you do, certainly - so I'll do you the favor of not bothering to respond to your presumptions about him. I've known him long enough to know his entire relationship history (because I've known him personally for almost all of it) and he hasn't had any bad experiences with Asian women.

    I also notice above that one person's examples of "women who proclaim their independence" are all celebrities. Hardly real life, normal female examples.

    But, believe what you want to believe. You say "because it's attractive" - I say "because it's attractive TO YOU." Do not claim to speak for all men, please. Because you don't, and claiming you do is disrespectful to other men.

    1. Obviously, I'm not going to start publishing the personal profiles of all the women who I've met or know with these traits. Frankly I don't need to. You can serve as my example which is quite sufficient.

    2. my husband and I were best friends for 8 years.

      Do not claim to speak for all men, please.

      I eat my husband for breakfast and supper.

      I am cute when I'm farting.

  15. know, I can have a tough attitude and I can be bitchy - but generally only to people who deserve it (like you). Doesn't mean I'm that way to everyone. My friends and loved ones would not call me either of those things (although they'd admit that I'm "tough" when people give me a hard time).

    Most people exist in more than two dimensions, including me.

    I'm also amused by "typical American woman" - not only the fact that you seem to know everything about me from one comment, but if there is such a thing. There are so many quiet, shy, "cute", non-confrontational American women out there, and so many who aren't that you can't say that "American women" are X or Y, not even generally speaking. In fact I'd go so far as to say that you can't generalize that much about any large group, including Korean women or Asian women. I know so many Asian women who are not "cute" that I can't even begin to count, and they are not exceptions. They are just women like everyone else.

    Although it does give some insight into your character, that you are willing to throw around massive generalizations so easily - about what the entire female population of any given country is like, what most men want and all sorts of things that entail so many exceptions that even if there is a general trend, on any meaningful or individual level, it's completely irrelevant.

    1. Fahruzinda AlhambahriFebruary 21, 2012 at 8:40 AM

      He CAN generalize. I saw his ability, it's pretty impressive. ^____^

      Btw, I am Asian [I'm also big people] and from Palestina originally. I can be very cute, check (please tune up the volume of your calculator).

  16. You say women who push their independence in others' faces are a pain, because they're trying too hard. The same applys to aegyo; the reason why a lot of people may not enjoy it is b/c the girls displaying aegyo try too hard to show that they're cute/feminine. I don't know if you understand Korean, but this is what the video was about - the blonde member of KARA, GyuRi, says that while she can pull off aegyo at home, she is uncomfortable w/ it in public b/c it contrasts w/ her personality, which is more blunt and confident.

    Aegyo is very similar to a concept in Japan called "kawaii," which, to an extent, can refer to a general innocence/cuteness that males can be fond of. I agree that some of today's Western feminists scorn traditional femininity, which is an issue that shouldn't be regarded as black and white (i.e. "all feminists are manhating butchs/shy and quiet = submissive"). However, the concept of aegyo is not as simple as winking and being cutesy; it is rooted deeply into Korean society, which is much more conservative and male-dominated than Western societies. In Korea, aegyo actually can be associated w/ weakness and non-assertiveness, as it evokes a sense of protection in males and makes them feel more aware of their power and masculinity. On the other hand, aegyo can also used as a tool to manipulate men to get them to do whatever they want; just as "acting dumb" works wonders for celebrities like Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson, so does aegyo. You can read about one analysis behind aegyo here:
    But, seeing as it's split into five parts, my comment's the tl;dr version of it.

  17. I think that this article is a bit one-sided, which was what Jenna Cody was probably saying, despite her identifying herself as "slightly bitchy" being a detraction. The article barely made a point about aegyo beyond "It's so cute, how can you NOT like it?" and your comment on which led me here sounded misogynistic.

    "If you can't pull it off, no big deal. Capitalize on your strengths being overtly sexual, butchy or feminazi. Do what you do best soliciting how you're an independent woman who doesn't need a man to support her in any way, shape or form. It'll save us a lot of time from wanting to holler at you."

    I apologize if I've misunderstood, but the only message I got from this and the general backlash towards Jenna was, "Any woman who doesn't act the way we want her to, GFTO." You highlight the scorn traditionally feminine women receive in feminist circles, but reject any other personality type women possess and blindly label it all as "unattractive" and "androgynous."

    Why should women have to "compete" for men's attention using the same tactic? Aegyo is a cultural concept that is not easy to demonstrate in countries like America. And why would we be "butch," desperate, and/or jealous if we disagree w/ aegyo? Everyone has different tastes and standards on what to look for in a mate.

    1. Everything should be done in moderation obviously. There are many women out there who have zero-aegyo, which I find to be a turnoff because showing a cute side of yourself is attractive. It's like men being masculine and assertive. Are all women going to like tough, masculine guys? No, but most do because it's part of our evolutionary traits of being a male. Now some guys may not like aegyo period, but my blogpost is an attempt to explain why guys might find Asian women attractive. One of my theories is because of that aegyo quality. I don't know of any guy who wants to be with a woman who acts super bitchy lacking a softer and gentler side. You can still be assertive as a woman and show aegyo. SeungYeon does it all the time!!

      Remember, I did say that I agreed with the 60s feminist movement, but like all movements that start with good intentions, they can swing to the other extreme far too quickly. At some point, the pendulum needs to swing back the other way.

      Why should women have to "compete" for men's attention using the same tactic?

      They don't have to. It's just one characteristic out of the many that men find attractive in Asian women ( favorite). There are plenty others. I'm just being honest with you as to how I feel.

      And yes, I understand Korean.

    2. Thanks for your reply. I don't realy aegyo can be done in moderation, but to each his own, I guess.

    3. It can. There's nothing wrong with having fun with it once in a while!

  18. "i dont know of any guy who wants to be with a woman acting super bitchy lacking a softer gentler side"
    "ive never wanted to go to china for vacation. gee i cant imagine why anyone else would." basically your line of logic. no you cant be assertive and have aegyo at the same time. aegyo works if you act submissive, cloying. even the word aegyo has deeper meaning in korean "weak, childlike." your examples of "fucking obnoxious " women are unrealistic. theyre celebrities. rihanna especially, her "androgynous" image is all for marketing. and women have a whole spectrum of personalities, you cant sum up half of the worlds population as either cute or bitchy.
    "going around touting that youre some 'independent woman' is seriously lame" just like you touting about your 'game' on this blog is seriously lame.


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