Pronunciation aside, it hadn't occurred to me that Seung and I made a mismatched couple. Mixed-race yes, but I couldn't fathom that my race could make me the "wrong kind of girl" for anyone.
Yes, it was white privilege that blinded me to the fact I might be the bottom of the barrel on someone else's race card.Who would've thought "white privilege" would become disadvantageous when dealing with Asian parents? I know a lot of Asian moms who would be clamoring to get their hands on that sort of setup, but this is where the tradition and attachment to culture overrides any kind of privilege. Now if Diane were the daughter of Bill Gates maybe that'd be a different story.
Marrying or even dating someone who is culturally distant from you can be an herculean challenge that takes work. A lot of work. Getting a beautiful girl's number, taking her out on a date...heck...even sleeping with her can be a walk in the park compared to going up against Asian filial piety forces. In fact, it doesn't even need to be exclusive to ethnicity. Would it be any less challenging for someone to explain to their parents how they should accept their significant other from the housing projects when they were born and raised in The Hamptons their entire life?
Hah! I definitely had that dynamic with my mother. She always has a disapproving tone in her voice when she finds out I'm dating "another white devil girl." Then she tries to find something else derisive to say about them.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Seung's mother found out about Dianne Farrs past interracial dating history with blacks?
ReplyDelete"I had more than one black boyfriend in my twenties, and a few others in shades between olive and dark brown. When my parents said that one of them shouldn't be invited to our holiday table, I stopped showing up also.
That particular boyfriend and I only lasted six months, but I did not visit home for nearly two years until my mother and I agreed that unconditional love meant accepting anyone, of any race, who I chose to spend my life with."
No offense this is not worth it for a white, who wants a blacks sloppy seconds and then to marry her when she was all used up. Embarrassing.