Sunday, February 21, 2010

These Girls Have A Point

Last year I ran across this video before I started blogging and decided to revisit it to share it with you all.  The Asian-American girls in this clip have a point (they're also pretty hot ^_^). Obviously they're half-joking, but I can't entirely dismiss their impression of how Asian-American guys act when it comes to picking up women. As for the accuracy of the other ethnic males, I have no comment but I suspect it's warranted based on their personal accounts. What I can say is that this is all too common among many AA men. I've been guilty of this myself occasionally. Yes, its terrible.

After watching the video I asked one of my female friend's what she thought about it.  Sad to say, her sentiments were contiguous with the video's message about Asian guys,
It's pretty true...I mean its a tad exaggerated, but it falls along those lines.  Asian guys are too shy.  If you're lucky sometimes they'll come up to you.  That's why an asian guy who is not shy...he can get a lot of asian ladies b/c they like the confidence =P.  Nice little trick huh?
A woman's beauty can be intoxicating. You stand there not knowing what the fuck to say to her even though you want to because you're mentally deifying her to the point of self-intimidation. This is what bites AA men in the ass. This self-limiting belief that she will reject us because we may not be rich enough, good looking enough, tall enough, or whatever simply because she is physically attractive should not deter you from talking to her.

Rejection is not the end of the world.  You will still live to see tomorrow.  The Earth still turns, the sun will still shine and the stars will continue twinkling.  What has helped me is to think of it like looking for a job.  Instead of blasting a resume, you blast your personality out there just as you would when job hunting you might,
  • Stretch the truth a bit, promote your best qualities, and show how you're going to add value by partnering with them.
  • Demonstrate how you're different from the (other male) competition.
  • Have stellar references i.e. your wingmen.
If you do a good job of gaining their trust and keeping them interested, many women will actually forgo their typical requirements of having you to be a certain height or ethnicity. You might even get that 2rd or 3rd interview and finally the job!

I believe the key takeaway from the clip is this. You have to at least be willing to open your mouth and make an effort which requires stepping out of your comfort zone and start getting comfortable with rejection.  Even if a girl rejects you or you fear looking stupid, it shouldn't matter because 9 times out of 10 you will never see those people ever again.

As Asian Playboy once said, "She's not rejecting YOU.  She's just rejecting your SKILL SET" just like any employer would.


  1. The truth hurts. This video should serve as a wake up call to Asian men to be quit being wallflowers.

    I wanted to connect this to a comment Invasian posted on the previous blog entry on dating preferences:

    Asian men had the 2nd best matching scores with women overall (and also 2nd best with white women) behind white males. (So, if stereotypes and other issues weren't an issue, Asian men "should" be 2nd more desirable among all men)

    Interesting stat. I think Asian American men make great husbands. They're nice and stable. Which would explain why they would be 2nd in compatibility to most women.

    But nice guys don't get laid. They just get married.

    When it comes to dating and enjoying the company of many women, it's a matter of constantly improving your presentation: dressing well, confident and relaxed body language, and being willing to flirt and joke with a woman without being giving a shit about her judging you.

    I think all guys get too hung up on results as opposed to honing their game.

  2. @ James:

    "But nice guys don't get laid. They just get married."

    Funny but true. Nothing wrong with marriage but some of us would like to experience dating other women before we give our heart and soul to one woman. I believe a number of women have the same mentality these days.

  3. First of all, I think it's important to remember that there is still a significant number of women who believe Asian guys are inferior. These women will not date Asian men because of their race.
    Having said that I do believe there are a significant amount of Asian men who are shy.

    But does anyone actually believe this trait is biological or part of Asian culture? I think Asian-American men's shyness is a result of how America treats Asian men.

    One last thing. I'm sick and tired of people saying that Asian men should just "get over it." I think most of us can agree that it would be beneficial if Asian men overcame this; however, decades of mistreatment cannot easily nor quickly be undone. Several studies have shown that stereotypes have extremely harmful effects on minority and female groups.

  4. Anonymous,

    You bring up some valid points here, and I agree with you that it is really difficult to undo decades of mistreatment and continual exposure to racism and negative stereotypes.

    However, during a 4 month period of my life (October 2007 - January 2008), I was able to drastically improve my romance life in several ways. These events eventually led up to meeting a hot girl in a nightclub who is now my girlfriend and we're happy together :) During this 4 month period, which was full of all kinds of random hookups with girls and other romantic adventures, there was no decrease in either negative mainstream media stereotypes, nor was there any decrease in the number of women who "will not date Asian men because of their race." So, the only reasonable explanation I could come up with is that I am the part of the equation that needed to change. So I did.


  5. There are certain aspects that we have more control and responsibility over when it comes to defining our image. When it comes to the medias portrayal of Asians, it is still requires a concerted "work in progress" effort.

    I've argued your side too Anonymous, but the critics such as jstele also have some valid points which I am not going to marginalize and run away from. I think if every one of us American-Asian men, starting with ME, did something to combat the stereotypes we encounter so often, the outlook toward us from mainstream America would inevitably change.

    Don't get me wrong. I'm not arguing that we should simply, "get over it" either, but if we continue to focus on just one aspect of the problem, American-Asian men may end up stuck in a rut with an half-ass solution.


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