I believe Better Asian Man has stated it best,
What I realized after my transition period is that even if all negative media portrayals of Asian American men were replaced with good ones, and even if all white male romantic leads were replaced with Asian American male romantic leads tomorrow morning, that still wouldn’t produce any tangible result for my romantic life. Even if all of that stuff I was “fighting” against went away, I would STILL have to learn how to get good with women and make myself into a better man.This is one of those simple, yet harsh realities that I refused to acknowledge quite frequently. I would make excuses or justify my shortcomings by placing blame on residual factors such as the media or entertainment in hopes that somebody else would pave the way for me so I could just ride their coat tails. That kind of mindset has zero positive impact on my personal development and is an amalgamation of whining (unattractive) and laziness (also unattractive) in its purest form.
Imagine if a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, let alone any company for that matter, operated in a similar fashion. If the CEO went on a diatribe about how the government and his competition have an unfair advantage every quarterly earnings release instead of reaching out for help by hiring the right resources and executing on a well thought out strategy, that person wouldn't be CEO for long and would eventually fall off in the corporate world. The dating world is no different from the corporate and it shouldn't be.
To each and every one of you who have posted on my blog, contender or defender, I wish for all of your forthcoming holidays to be filled with joy, peace and brighter days ahead.