There's something about my American side that conflicts with my Asian side; it is this clique-ish, tribal behavior Asians have where ever they go. I'm just as guilty as the next Asian, but it's not like I act like this 24/7. Look, I'm the type of guy who isn't afraid to roll into a club, bar or lounge solo and start chatting it up with random people. How many Asian guys, let alone guys of any ethnicity period, are comfortable enough with themselves to do just that? Very few besides my homie DL, but that's what social gatherings are all about...to have fun with friends and open up to meeting new people and remembering new faces.
So if there's one thing I find really annoying at times, it's how Asian-American girls at Asian parties are always in these cliques of 3-5 chicks and constantly in transition. Fellas, you know what I'm talking about right? You go up to a group of Asian girls to chat up one or two of them, and next thing you know they give you the same old, "Well...we're gonna go now", and then they bounce.
Question to my Asian-American sistas
- Why are you girls always in transition? Where the hell are you always going?
- How many different corners of a club could you possibly check out? Who is meeting you there?
- And what is up with this gang mentality? Why are you so afraid of us?
- Why do you open your arms to non-Asian (white) guys so easily but not even your fellow Asian-American brothas?
- Why do you give us the cold shoulder when we finally do make the attempt after you complain that Asian guys never approach you, and when we actually do you cry, "CREEPER"??
I want to understand
- Am I just too fucking ugly of an Asian guy?
- Am I too short even though I'm a good 3-4 inches taller than you 9 times out of 10?
- Would you prefer that I call you a bitch instead of complimenting you on your outfit?
- Are you just being a bitch to me or is this to every guy?
Okay, I'll admit it. I was a tad bitter that night, only because I probably broke a world record in getting rejected literally a dozen times in a row *gasp*, and not a single AA female that I approached cold was willing to accept my advances. Not even for 5 minutes. Even the 5s and 6s were succumbing to the peer pressure of their friends, "Let's go over there." LOL. I didn't even get a chance to point them to the dance floor. Rather than bottling this up inside, I've decided to share my failures with my fellow AA brethren out there who are always looking for ways to sharpen their Game. Here are some takeaways:
- No matter how many times you get rejected, it never gets easier. You're just going to have to learn to deal with it. It's as simple as that. You could've scored with a Scarlet Johansen or Jessica Alba a week ago, and yet getting rejected or bounced on is still always going to hurt, which is why 99.98% of women can't approach men like the way men approach women, because if they did and got rejected the same way guys do, they'd probably slit their wrists or hang themselves. Why else do you think women turn bulimic? It ain't because they're trying to cater to the female audience I can assure you that. Now as a male, you have to learn to surrender and accept the zingers, verbal stingers and middle fingers that women throw at you. Consider professional boxers. Do you think it hurts any less when they get punched in the face the 100th time versus the 1st time??
- Think strategically. The Game is not all tactical. You have to think strategically when you're going into a mixed or unisex set of bodies. I have trouble with this all the time. What is my next move? How will I squash resistance from her jealous girlfriends that I'm not giving attention to? What do I do if I start getting cunt-punted? This is where having a wingman or wing-woman is so important. The wing is supposed to help you isolate and play defense for each other. The goal of the wing isn't to get a hottie for himself. That's NOT THE POINT OF BEING A WING. It is to distract and deter the others that may compromise your Game. If you're one of those guys who can't wing unless he has one for himself, then you should not tell your friend, "I'll be your wingman." Luckily, none of my homies' ever do that to me nor will I ever do that to them. It's part of the bros. code!
- Game non-Asian girls. Look, I know this concept is difficult for a lot of AA guys out there to digest and act on because you're inclined to stick with your AA circle. It's like home. You may even be scared to talk to a non-Asian girl because you're a minority, but you're seriously doing a disservice to yourself by not taking advantage of the countless beautiful, non-Asian women out there. In the macro scheme of things, you're also not helping with tearing down AA male stereotypes either and increasing the value of AA men. There are tons of fun and hot non-AA girls out there itching for something different. You are that different guy!
Now I've done my fair share of praising of Asian women, but here's the great thing about non-Asian women versus Asian ones. They will give you the opportunity if you take some initiative to Game 'em. They UNDERSTAND how difficult it is for a guy to approach a girl ice-cold dreading the fear of getting rejected, and more often than not they will give you a chance. At the very least, they'll let you do your thing for 5 minutes! Yes, there are fucking exceptions to this rule...I know, so don't come at me with a pitchfork ladies, but fellas I kid you not...as my man DL once told me one of the reasons he only dates white chicks is because of the sad fact that they have more social grace. And as one of my other Asian buddies I hung out with this past weekend told me, with white chicks even if you're bombing during the interaction, more often than not they will rescue you and give you another chance.
Case in Point
After my rejection-filled previous weekend from all the AA girls at Belasco - ranging from ugly-fugly to blazin' hottie - I did a complete 180 and went out to a few bars where almost everyone was white. After last call, my buddy and I go to a restaurant to grab something to eat. We walk in and notice two Asian girls sitting together alone right behind where our server sits us. My buddy immediately approaches their table after grabbing his seat and jovially asks them if they'd like to join us at our table. They are reluctant and deny his offer giggling away.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any better...
Two hot white chicks walk in, and without hesitation we ask them the same question and they accept our invitation. The table for 2 has now become a table of 4, and in the corner of my eye I can see these Asian girls are slowly becoming jealous. It's written all over one of their faces. The first thought that comes to mind is, "So that's what I probably look like to Asian women when they notice me notice that their boyfriend is white." They aren't happy one bit, because deep-down inside they probably thought we were 2 one-trick pony AA guys who only hit on Asian women. They passed up an offer...not an offer of a lifetime, but a fun one that could've ended their night even better than they anticipated. You could argue that they were just being safe since we're strangers, but c'mon...it's just dinner in a restaurant with 30 people.
We flirt. We laugh. We entertain. We captivate their minds with playful banter and intriguing, flirtatious conversation, and by the time we're done eating, I am sitting there holding hands with one of the girls while my buddy has his arm around the other. They help us out with the check when the bill arrives, and we all leave together, arms chain-linked with fixated gazes coming from every direction in the restaurant who just eye-witnessed the entire sequence of events. They couldn't believe what they were seeing - not one but TWO AA dudes with TWO hot white chicks arm-in-arm after 20 minutes of conversation. Heck, these women could've been any other ethnicity for that matter, but it had a far reaching impact because they were white - the antithesis of interracial dating. As we're walking them back to their car, even in a bit of a drunken state I couldn't help but notice the number of double takes we were getting from everyone passing us by. Gee, I wonder why?? We continue our stroll, exchanging numbers, demonstrating sexual interest and part our merry ways. A completely harmless interaction that was flirty and fun. What's there not to like about that?
We flirt. We laugh. We entertain. We captivate their minds with playful banter and intriguing, flirtatious conversation, and by the time we're done eating, I am sitting there holding hands with one of the girls while my buddy has his arm around the other. They help us out with the check when the bill arrives, and we all leave together, arms chain-linked with fixated gazes coming from every direction in the restaurant who just eye-witnessed the entire sequence of events. They couldn't believe what they were seeing - not one but TWO AA dudes with TWO hot white chicks arm-in-arm after 20 minutes of conversation. Heck, these women could've been any other ethnicity for that matter, but it had a far reaching impact because they were white - the antithesis of interracial dating. As we're walking them back to their car, even in a bit of a drunken state I couldn't help but notice the number of double takes we were getting from everyone passing us by. Gee, I wonder why?? We continue our stroll, exchanging numbers, demonstrating sexual interest and part our merry ways. A completely harmless interaction that was flirty and fun. What's there not to like about that?
My homie and I hop in the car, and as he heads for the freeway onramp I had to ask him, "Was it just me or did one of those Asian chicks seem pretty jealous after the white girls joined us?" He responds,
"Yeah dude...thanks for backing me up by the way...you played it well.
But yeah...those Asian girls were NOT happy with what happened back there with us and those white girls. But you know what? That's their fault. We extended the offer and they refused to take it. Ya gotta meet me half way if I'm putting myself out there like that, you know? It's not like we were asking them to go home with us. You could tell they wanted to join us when I asked, but they were just being way too uptight about it, and look who ended up having more fun while eating? We did. They noticed it and it was making that one girl sick to her stomach. . .
. . .
See, that's the thing. We just showed everyone in that restaurant filled with a bunch of people that we're different from the stereotypical Asian-American guys. So all this blogging and commenting you do on bullshit Asian-American blogs and online forums has it's place, but it's pretty much waste of time. Why spend all your time writing about all that bullshit? Fuck that. It's a lot more powerful and effective to go out there in public and physically do it, break stereotypes in the real world, in real life, where real people can see than sit at home writing about it on some Asian-American blog that only Asians read anyway."
Damn...I hate to admit it, but he's right. Take away number 4.
