Sunday, April 15, 2012

A Question to Asian-American Women & Why More Asian-American Guys Should Date Non-Asian Girls

This past weekend I hung out at night with the homies and had some fun in the city. I decided to do something different, and by different I mean my friends and I went to a bar that was filled primarily with white people which was a breadth of fresh air, similar to this clip here from The Mentalist.

There's something about my American side that conflicts with my Asian side; it is this clique-ish, tribal behavior Asians have where ever they go. I'm just as guilty as the next Asian, but it's not like I act like this 24/7. Look, I'm the type of guy who isn't afraid to roll into a club, bar or lounge solo and start chatting it up with random people. How many Asian guys, let alone guys of any ethnicity period, are comfortable enough with themselves to do just that? Very few besides my homie DL, but that's what social gatherings are all have fun with friends and open up to meeting new people and remembering new faces.

So if there's one thing I find really annoying at times, it's how Asian-American girls at Asian parties are always in these cliques of 3-5 chicks and constantly in transition. Fellas, you know what I'm talking about right? You go up to a group of Asian girls to chat up one or two of them, and next thing you know they give you the same old, "Well...we're gonna go now", and then they bounce.

Question to my Asian-American sistas

  • Why are you girls always in transition? Where the hell are you always going? 
  • How many different corners of a club could you possibly check out? Who is meeting you there? 
  • And what is up with this gang mentality? Why are you so afraid of us? 
  • Why do you open your arms to non-Asian (white) guys so easily but not even your fellow Asian-American brothas? 
  • Why do you give us the cold shoulder when we finally do make the attempt after you complain that Asian guys never approach you, and when we actually do you cry, "CREEPER"??

I want to understand

  • Am I just too fucking ugly of an Asian guy?
  • Am I too short even though I'm a good 3-4 inches taller than you 9 times out of 10? 
  • Would you prefer that I call you a bitch instead of complimenting you on your outfit? 
  • Are you just being a bitch to me or is this to every guy? 
If it's just me you're a mega-bitch to, well at least I know I'm special. Haha!

Okay, I'll admit it. I was a tad bitter that night, only because I probably broke a world record in getting rejected literally a dozen times in a row *gasp*, and not a single AA female that I approached cold was willing to accept my advances. Not even for 5 minutes. Even the 5s and 6s were succumbing to the peer pressure of their friends, "Let's go over there." LOL. I didn't even get a chance to point them to the dance floor. Rather than bottling this up inside, I've decided to share my failures with my fellow AA brethren out there who are always looking for ways to sharpen their Game. Here are some takeaways: 
  1. No matter how many times you get rejected, it never gets easier. You're just going to have to learn to deal with it. It's as simple as that. You could've scored with a Scarlet Johansen or Jessica Alba a week ago, and yet getting rejected or bounced on is still always going to hurt, which is why 99.98% of women can't approach men like the way men approach women, because if they did and got rejected the same way guys do, they'd probably slit their wrists or hang themselves. Why else do you think women turn bulimic? It ain't because they're trying to cater to the female audience I can assure you that. Now as a male, you have to learn to surrender and accept the zingers, verbal stingers and middle fingers that women throw at you. Consider professional boxers. Do you think it hurts any less when they get punched in the face the 100th time versus the 1st time??
  2. Think strategically. The Game is not all tactical. You have to think strategically when you're going into a mixed or unisex set of bodies. I have trouble with this all the time. What is my next move? How will I squash resistance from her jealous girlfriends that I'm not giving attention to? What do I do if I start getting cunt-punted? This is where having a wingman or wing-woman is so important. The wing is supposed to help you isolate and play defense for each other. The goal of the wing isn't to get a hottie for himself. That's NOT THE POINT OF BEING A WING. It is to distract and deter the others that may compromise your Game. If you're one of those guys who can't wing unless he has one for himself, then you should not tell your friend, "I'll be your wingman." Luckily, none of my homies' ever do that to me nor will I ever do that to them. It's part of the bros. code!
  3. Game non-Asian girls. Look, I know this concept is difficult for a lot of AA guys out there to digest and act on because you're inclined to stick with your AA circle. It's like home. You may even be scared to talk to a non-Asian girl because you're a minority, but you're seriously doing a disservice to yourself by not taking advantage of the countless beautiful, non-Asian women out there. In the macro scheme of things, you're also not helping with tearing down AA male stereotypes either and increasing the value of AA men. There are tons of fun and hot non-AA girls out there itching for something different. You are that different guy! 
Now I've done my fair share of praising of Asian women, but here's the great thing about non-Asian women versus Asian ones. They will give you the opportunity if you take some initiative to Game 'em. They UNDERSTAND how difficult it is for a guy to approach a girl ice-cold dreading the fear of getting rejected, and more often than not they will give you a chance. At the very least, they'll let you do your thing for 5 minutes! Yes, there are fucking exceptions to this rule...I know, so don't come at me with a pitchfork ladies, but fellas I kid you my man DL once told me one of the reasons he only dates white chicks is because of the sad fact that they have more social grace. And as one of my other Asian buddies I hung out with this past weekend told me, with white chicks even if you're bombing during the interaction, more often than not they will rescue you and give you another chance.

Case in Point

After my rejection-filled previous weekend from all the AA girls at Belasco - ranging from ugly-fugly to blazin' hottie - I did a complete 180 and went out to a few bars where almost everyone was white. After last call, my buddy and I go to a restaurant to grab something to eat. We walk in and notice two Asian girls sitting together alone right behind where our server sits us. My buddy immediately approaches their table after grabbing his seat and jovially asks them if they'd like to join us at our table. They are reluctant and deny his offer giggling away. 

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better...

Two hot white chicks walk in, and without hesitation we ask them the same question and they accept our invitation. The table for 2 has now become a table of 4, and in the corner of my eye I can see these Asian girls are slowly becoming jealous. It's written all over one of their faces. The first thought that comes to mind is, "So that's what I probably look like to Asian women when they notice me notice that their boyfriend is white." They aren't happy one bit, because deep-down inside they probably thought we were 2 one-trick pony AA guys who only hit on Asian women. They passed up an offer...not an offer of a lifetime, but a fun one that could've ended their night even better than they anticipated. You could argue that they were just being safe since we're strangers, but c''s just dinner in a restaurant with 30 people.

We flirt. We laugh. We entertain. We captivate their minds with playful banter and intriguing, flirtatious conversation, and by the time we're done eating, I am sitting there holding hands with one of the girls while my buddy has his arm around the other. They help us out with the check when the bill arrives, and we all leave together, arms chain-linked with fixated gazes coming from every direction in the restaurant who just eye-witnessed the entire sequence of events. They couldn't believe what they were seeing - not one but TWO AA dudes with TWO hot white chicks arm-in-arm after 20 minutes of conversation. Heck, these women could've been any other ethnicity for that matter, but it had a far reaching impact because they were white - the antithesis of interracial dating. As we're walking them back to their car, even in a bit of a drunken state I couldn't help but notice the number of double takes we were getting from everyone passing us by. Gee, I wonder why?? We continue our stroll, exchanging numbers, demonstrating sexual interest and part our merry ways. A completely harmless interaction that was flirty and fun. What's there not to like about that? 

My homie and I hop in the car, and as he heads for the freeway onramp I had to ask him, "Was it just me or did one of those Asian chicks seem pretty jealous after the white girls joined us?" He responds, 
"Yeah dude...thanks for backing me up by the played it well. 
But yeah...those Asian girls were NOT happy with what happened back there with us and those white girls. But you know what? That's their fault. We extended the offer and they refused to take it. Ya gotta meet me half way if I'm putting myself out there like that, you know? It's not like we were asking them to go home with us. You could tell they wanted to join us when I asked, but they were just being way too uptight about it, and look who ended up having more fun while eating? We did. They noticed it and it was making that one girl sick to her stomach. . .  
. . . 
See, that's the thing. We just showed everyone in that restaurant filled with a bunch of people that we're different from the stereotypical Asian-American guys. So all this blogging and commenting you do on bullshit Asian-American blogs and online forums has it's place, but it's pretty much waste of time. Why spend all your time writing about all that bullshit? Fuck that. It's a lot more powerful and effective to go out there in public and physically do it, break stereotypes in the real world, in real life, where real people can see than sit at home writing about it on some Asian-American blog that only Asians read anyway." 
Damn...I hate to admit it, but he's right. Take away number 4


  1. I'd have to agree: Asian women tend to close up and give you the cold shoulder when you cold approach them. In my experience non-Asian women tend to be much more open when you approach them. Provided that you're a decent looking guy and friendly and not creepy, then white women and Hispanic women are quite receptive and are much more flirtatious. They know why they're out: they're out to have a good time. Why go out and hang out with just your friends?

    This is not to say all Asian women are uptight, but as a rule, they're not very social unless they know you or someone in their group can vouch for you. If you game an Asian woman in a group, then you have to take an oblique approach. I've always made sure I knew somebody in an Asian group, guy or gal. This way the woman I'm interested in sees me interacting with her friend and she knows I'm not a scuzz bucket.

    I've gotten some double takes and even dirty looks from Asian women when I was going out or flirting with non-Asian women. But eventually, the world is going to be different place, and people won't find AMXF so unusual.

    Here's the morning after for Cho and Summer:

    The Mentalist

    1. James,

      Great to hear from you brah! I see that you're still keeping Alpha-Asian alive. I check on it pretty frequently and get some pretty good ideas from your stuff. Are you still out in Singapore? Hope things are crackin' for you. And're absolutely correct about going in with the "oblique approach". It's just a different Game you gotta play, and as much as I hate playing that social circle Game, what can a man do?

      Hate the player or hate the Game?

  2. Any follow up with those white girls?

  3. Interesting post, and I agree with everything you wrote. It made me think! I'm about to post a commentary on this post at my blog that goes into more detail, but I will say that non-Asian girls seem more willing to not be overly-swayed by the opinions of their girlfriends which might explain why they seem more open to Asian men.

    1. "non-Asian girls seem more willing to not be overly-swayed by the opinions of their girlfriends which might explain why they seem more open to Asian men."
      Unless one of their friends happen to be the kind of Asian woman who hates Asian men.
      Asian women poison interactions that non-Asian women have with Asian men ... by claiming they have the "inside track" on how the guys' mind works.

  4. Alpha-Asian=Asian douchebag who attacks Asian girl/white guy couples, even if that Asian guy is dating a white girl. You also slander white men (the ones making the stereotypes is only 1% of us)

    1. Alpha-Asians don't attack Asian girl/White guy couples. I don't know where you came to that sort of wild conclusion. There are many Asian-American guys who are merely questioning why the interracial disparity is so asymmetrical. Some of the questioning yield conclusions that you might call an attack which is true just like how Asian-American men are constantly attacked by the mainstream as dorky, emasculated, unattractive males. Granted, there's been progress but its still a work in progress.

    2. some white men wrong you so you attack other white men who are totally innocent? Does that really make sense as a justification in your mind?

      Cause I can tell you right now if im ever with an Asian girl and i get attacked, vengeance will not come easy to the guy.

    3. You are completely misconstruing things. When did I ever mention about getting physical?

    4. No, not physical attacks, verbal, but the kind to try and make the girl stop dating white.

      Of course you wouldn't get physical, pussy shit. You prefer to hit and run.

  5. MaSir Jones - I know what you mean brutha. Them Asian women are whack!
    All jokes aside, in my limited experience I have noticed that Asian women tend to be the most shy out of all of the ethnicities. Unless of course you're a white male which makes things a little easier for them - which is sad but it's an honest assessment. I've asked a couple of hispanic and white girls out, and even though they were already attached, they seemed to be okay with a(n Asian) guy asking them out.

    Joseph_Bedn - I'm afraid you're touching up on a lot of different topics here, and I want to provide as thorough response to you as possible. So let me start off with a couple of points that you have and we'll take it from there:
    [Alpha-Asian = Asian douchebag] - True. Any male asshole of ANY ethnicity from ANY culture on this Earth will be considered a douchebag. Overconfidence often comes with its price. With your argument, the same is said for "white" douchebags.
    [Attacking AF/WM couples] - I have seen people like these online and fortunately not in real life. These guys are in the minority and really, REALLY harbor some deep seated bad feelings. As an AA male, I will say I don't allow these feelings to motivate my judgement.
    [You also slander white men - the ones making the stereotypes is only 1% of us] - Good call, but you have to remember that the "1%" is who's controlling the media and culture in this society and in the larger scheme of things - the perception of AA males in this country.

    1. That does not justify being a douchebag hypocrite who dates white women but tells all Asian women that all white men are asaiphiles.

    2. I dunno where you get the information that AA and Asian men are telling their Asian sistas that white men are Asiaphiles.
      I'll second Masir Jones by saying that it seems you are misconstruing things.

  6. Toughen up Josh seriously I travel between Australia and New Zealand for work and there are way more white men with asian women than the opposite. On the streets you can be looking at a 15:1 ratio.

    You're getting upset about nothing if it was the other way around maybe you'd have a point but now you sound whiny.

    Of course every guy wants to see more men his race with other women while the women of his race are exclusively within. White guys totally dominate this in regards to Asians and east Indians the only one I don't see with is black women.

    1. Well, it's because no one wants black women right? Apparently, the only women that exist on this planet are of the asian, white and hispanic kind...interesting

    2. I would date black women, and actually many other guys would too. I have seen some very attractive black women were I live.

  7. I'm sorry because this is beside the point, but your bulimic comment pissed me off.. Seriously, you're going to trivialize a disorder suffered by several thousands of people in the US because guys simply just wanna get with skinny minnies? And yeah, it would help the dating scene if women were more assertive, but no, 99.98% of us will not "slit our wrists or hang ourselves" because there's a shortage of dick in our pants. So thanks, but you don't need to protect us fragile flowers from the perils of bar hookups.
    Obviously this isn't going to sound fair, but if you sound like this much of a dick in only one paragraph, I can't imagine what you'd be like in person.

  8. If you're an Asian man reading this BS, just pickup a passport and travel to the Ukraine, Moldova, Latvia or some third world European country and date your white woman of choice. Learn Russian first. You don't have to break yourself to match US standards of what is based on money, really.

  9. Haha...genius make sure its complete by banging out those white girls you picked up...


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