Monday, June 4, 2012

There's More To It Than Scholastics

My heart goes out to this kid Jerry Liu. I've never even met the guy, but I know or have met a lot of guys like him. One of them in fact was me during my younger days.

I found this video a few weeks back and meant to share it with you earlier, but didn't know how to approach it without offending or ridiculing the guy. Take a look here if you're interested (he's restricted video embedding).

First off, I give Jerry props for putting himself out there in the public sphere like that on YouTube. It's not easy by any means. I'd also like to give props to his mother for being so supportive of her son. I've heard of other dismal stories about Chinese mothers raising their sons into becoming average frustrated chumps, but luckily his mom seems very supportive of him and does what a moms should do - listen.

I posted a comment on one of Jerry's videos asking him what the point of the whole "Would you ever date an Asian-American male?" section was about, but he removed my comment. My intention wasn't to impart ill will on Jerry, but rather help him see that the way he and many other Asian American guys carry themselves is only reinforcing the very negative stereotypes we all condemn. To be quite honest, I didn't see much of a difference between Jerry and the Asian male characters in the referenced films. Did you? Don't get me wrong. It's not a bad thing to be nerdy and intelligent. Frankly, I think it's awesome BUT...

...herein lies the problem...

You need balance. Balance like the Yin-Ying twins. You cannot excel with women through scholastic achievements alone, especially as an Asian-American male. If you believe what your parents told you that Good Grades = Good Girls, then guess what? Good Luck 'cause that shit ain't how the real world works gentlemen. Asian-Americans are already notorious for their studies and smarts. You need to work on the other vital forgotten "S's".
  • Style - Fashion sense. Hairstyle, unless you're bald.
  • Social Skills - Intriguing conversation
  • Sex Appeal - You aren't afraid to fuck
  • Silliness - LOL. Don't take yourself seriously
  • Swagger - Confidence in your walkie-talkie 
Get it?

I think most of these are all self-explanatory, but let me expand on silliness. Yes. Silliness is important. The point is not to take yourself too seriously. Be able to laugh out loud at other people including yourself. If you can't find humor in life, then you are way too serious and uptight which is not fun.

And if that's too difficult start with the simplest "S". Start with switching up your damn hairStyle!


  1. Having been raised as one of these "scholarly" Asians, I relate to this trend. As an Asian male realizing that school was 10% of one's journey through life, I'm reversing all that I was taught when I was younger.

    As you said, there's more to life than scholastics.

    1. Glad you're taking this epidemic on full-force. To be honest man, we can't blame anyone really but ourselves for our dating failures with women. I don't look to white guys any say, "It's your fault." That's really cheap cop-out.

      Even if you look at my earlier posts you'll see that I was a bitter bitch. Haha. My things have changed...for the better!

    2. How about Skill? (talent) I bet you if he could serenade her some Bruno Mars, she'd be all over him.

      Jokes aside, I think in his situation, Style would actually be on the bottom of the list. I've learned that when you're at school and you've been having class with a girl you've had a crush on, first impressions are only important half the times. As long as you have a magnetic personality and she sees how well you get along with everybody else, she's most likely to open up to you. Changing your hair style doesn't help as much if you haven't developed any sort of charisma, though (but it does help catch her eye). Also, school isn't as cut throat as clubs.

      But then I realized that half the times I thought a girl was cute because of the clothes she wore and then got nicer clothes and a haircut hahaha.

      And yes, I have found a niche where I'm both the class clown and the class nerd. It works pretty well.

    3. Normally I would agree with you but everyone needs a baseline when it comes to style.

    4. lol I'm not saying that its not important, I'm just saying in his situation since he's meeting her at school rather than a club, the other values are more important than just looks.

      Also glad to see that you've calmed down. BWW's AFCC posts would always drag me down and then your angry posts would get me all riled up. Where's the middle ground man..?

    5. Emotional roller-coasters are a thrill.

  2. Dumb question: what does AFCC stand for?

    Also a shout out to MaSir Jones: Good call on deleting that other guy's response. And my apologies for responding to him; I thought I'd spar with him a little. In retrospect, it was probably better for his comment to have been deleted anyway.

    1. No clue. I am open for a healthy discussion and debate but that douchebag was posting comments imbued with racism. It's always the select few who have to ruin it for everyone.



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